The Pass
by Lex Sora
Summary: It's a SOOONGFIIC! I'm really gettin the hang o' these. Rather sad, depressing, and.....um...well iiit's very, very ugly as in all you lighthearted people aren't going to enjoy this much. VxG (one-sided) shounen-ai.Goku rejects Vegeta and Vegeta can't tak


The Pass  
  
  
Ah-ha!  
  
DD: Ah-ha what?  
  
Nuthin! But how often do I write a SERIOUS fic?  
  
Cell: ...This is serious? *Looks up at title* Oh boy. Dare I ask?  
  
Well here's a hint: it be shounen-ai  
  
DD: GxV!!  
  
Cell: It is?! I thought you already did one?  
  
Well, I did but it was all sappy and some such shit. And now I'm ready fer seriousness! ...Plus, I'm tired of seeing Vegeta reject Goku at every turn so let's switch that, sprinkle a handful of ChiChi AND! Bulma bashing and what do we get?  
  
DD & Cell: ???  
  
...Whaaat? I dunno either! Oh, I almost fergot! SONGFIC TIME! Yay, gather round children and break out yer Rush "Presto" albums, switch on de ole stereo and sit back and...er, read I suppose. Whelp, that's all I got to say...oh and this is to "The Pass" by...well guess! Here's a hint: Look up  
  
Cell: POV?  
  
Hm?  
  
Cell: POV?  
  
What?  
  
Cell: POV?  
  
Oh yeah, the POV. It tends to switch.  
  
~!!~!!~ means it switches from Goku's to Vegeta's meaning that the first POV you see is Goku's then Vegeta's and so on.  
  
And let's not forget, I am the master of the surprise ending! ...And Alfred Hitchcock, Stephen King, Steven Spieldburg...okay so maybe I'm not but when it comes to leading you AWAY from the surprise ending with poorly placed humor, real-life drama and enough bashing to keep both sides happy I RULE ALL!! MA HAHAHA!  
  
DD: [heh-heh]=lyrics  
  
Cell: This thing is getting too long. Let's just start.  
  
DD: Begin transmission  
_______________________________________________________________  
[Proud swagger out of the schoolyard  
Waiting for the world's applause]  
  
It was kind of weird....what? I never saw it coming so don't look at me like that. He just came over out of the blue and told me...and at first I thought I could learn to live with it but...no. Not after all the things he's done to my friends and family...I mean come on, he tried to destroy the world for Kami's sake. I can't just turn around and say I'm in love with him even if it is just to pretend.  
  
[Rebel without a conscience  
Martyr without a cause]  
  
And even if he hadn't done all those horrible things (he HAS done some good things too. Deep down inside, he's a good guy y'know) I don't think I COULD love him. Sure, he's quite the looker, nice build and all that (yes I look) but he's a little too headstrong. All the pride and ego may just be a façade for other's but let me tell ya, it can be pretty damn convincing. I mean, you don't hang around a guy who tells you he hates you with every fiber of his being for nearly 20 years with out starting to think maybe he really DOES hate you. And did I mention he almost destroyed the planet, killed my friends, and even worse things? I did? Good.   
  
[Static on your frequency  
Electrical storm in your veins]  
  
I should probably (read: wait a while THEN tell you) how all this came about huh? Well, it was one morning (yeah MORNING. I'm a morning person but he's a wake-up-at-2 person)...one morning (since I can't remember what time it was) and I felt his ki out side my window and he knew I was awake because he was staring in me in a kinda strange way that made me nervous...  
  
[Raging at unreachable glory  
Straining at invisible chains]   
  
So of course I got my clothes on and jumped down to see what was up. (not in that order mind you) And, as if waking up at like 7 in the morning hadn't staggered my mind enough he just blurted it out like...eh, you get it.  
  
"Kakarotto, I....I'm in love with you."   
  
Yeah, as if that wouldn't mess a person up enough but nooo he kissed me too. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't bad it's just that.....well as I've stated many times earlier and I'll say it again: I can't just twist around and say I love him after all of the things he's done to me (I said he did good things too but the bad kinda out number the good. KINDA) not to mention I was shocked. I didn't push him away or anything but I just shook my head sadly. He got the point and nodded his head and just...bah, flew off. Yes, it was as simple as that. I'm very sorry, but I'll only see him as a friend and I just hope he understands that.  
  
~!!~!!~  
[And now you're trembling on a rocky ledge  
Staring down into a heartless sea]  
  
I can't believe he just outright rejected me like that! He doesn't understand how long I've kept these feelings for him a secret....hell, I hardly know. I think she (the blue haired one as she will now be called) knew all along and just never let on...then there was that day she...well let's say "snapped" for lack of better term and let's not even get into THAT. The boy STILL lives half way across the city...I think he may have become a reclusive author (look what it did for Jack London) or something, I may never be sure. All I know is ever since SHE went fucking psycho my so-called family has been more unstable than normal. It's like the edge of a well sharpened knife, shift but a little and it you fall.  
  
[Can't face life on a razor's edge  
Nothing's what you thought it would be]  
  
I can't take living like this. My object of demented affection and my one true reason for living has denied me, my daughter's a crack-whore (yes you heard me right and I am NOT kidding you) and my son's probably some damn Jack London-style suicidal/homicidal lunatic living in a cabin in the woods and my wife...I'd prefer we don't "discuss" that. And me you ask? Well I'm spiraling down in to insanity and I think I may just go join my son in that "cabin by the lake".  
  
~!!~!!~  
[All of us get lost in the darkness  
Dreamers learn to steer by the stars]  
  
Vegeta's been acting a lot stranger lately since..."the incident" as it shall now be named. We used to spar on the weekends and such but now it's as if he's afraid to glance at me. GLANCE at me I say. And somewhere deep down that kind of hurts y'know? I suppose I should give him time to get over my rejection (I tried to make it as gentle as possible even though I didn't know what the hell was going on) but if you would see him now...he looks like a lost puppy on a dark night. I hope he get's over before he does something stupid like...wait, Vegeta? No way...would he?   
  
[All of us do time in the gutter  
Dreamers turn to look at the cars]  
  
I suppose I could give him a chance...or at least try to make amends...it's not at all good for the remaining two beings of an extinct race to be bitter enemies (there's a thin line between enemies and rivals believe it or not) but I don't think lovers would be too...eh, good either. It's like Pandas being extinct and the last two to want to rip each other apart or the exact opposite. Besides, I've had worse (not bad, WORSE) experiences with love with my late wife (such a bloody way to go out). I mean, sure I didn't know what marriage was when I was younger—not a whole lot ya learn when living in an isolated cabin for the best 12 years of your life—but as I got older it kinda dawned on me that a marriage is based on love and trust and what me and ChiChi had was animosity and suspicion because a) I was dying all the time   
  
b) Vegeta   
  
and c) that thing about me traveling across the universe and her...not. see how THAT works?  
  
[Turn around and turn around and turn around  
Turn around and walk the razor's edge]  
  
And I keep getting that sinking feeling that he only came to me out of desperation (and then there that being the last of your kind thing) because what do you do when your wife goes...shall we say insane, your son isolates himself for 3 years and counting and your only daughter sells herself for drugs (not money, DRUGS)? I dunno but I DO know I'd be pretty screwed in the head...but the rational part of my mind keeps telling me it's not the reason but I've never been pretty rational...  
  
~!!~!!~  
[Don't turn your back  
And slam the door on me]  
  
I really feel vulnerable about this whole thing. I have never felt so...so naked in my life until I learned what true pain felt like. Pain is not being killed at the hands of an evil tyrant that basically controlled your every breath and have your rival then your son do what you could not which is kick his ass, nor is it learning that an 11 year old is stronger than you (which also sorta borders on scary) but being turned down—no matter how gentle it's STILL rejection—by the only reason you haven't tossed your self in the ocean. Yes I do consider suicide. Why you ask? Because life fucking hurts no matter what route you chose.   
  
[It's not as if this barricade  
Blocks the only road]  
  
My life has been horrible since day one. I have been beaten by one hell of an evil lizard, raped by him more than...er, thrice I would say, and all I have to show with it is a burning hate for him (and I DID see him in hell and I kicked his ass. Thrice) and even stronger love for a being that so happens to be out of my reach and over my head and...well I'm not in the mood for repeating myself so let's recap:  
Furiza  
My planet's destroyed  
Earth  
Blue haired harpy  
Kakarotto  
And a whole mess of things that tie in to make my life fucking peachy. Just peachy.  
  
~!!~!!~  
I can tell something's really bothering him and it's not just me (I'd be conceited to think it was) but I can't get close enough to him to find out what. I thought it was bad before but now not only has he completely pushed me away...but dear Kami is he a mess. He's thinner than he used to be and he's kind of...rabid. Yes, rabid. It's like he's not even himself anymore.  
  
[It's not as if you're all alone  
In wanting to explode]  
  
I wish he'd let me get within two feet of him...is it really so bad that he can't get over it? Maybe it doesn't help that he sees me like everyday. And in worrying about him I've noticed that I've begun to slowly wither away myself.....but hell if one of us must die it might as well be me. I hope it's me anyway, I've been dead enough times that, believe it or not, it's NORMAL and I really don't care. Call me a local huh. But it's better that I die of worry (is that considered a natural cause?) than he die over heart break.  
  
~!!~!!~  
[Someone set a bad example  
Made surrender seem all right]   
  
That's odd...so, he is feeling the full force of guilt over rejecting me? I'd hate for it to be my fault but....no, he actually doesn't deserve it despite my thinking so. It's just my mindless obsession that's withering him to dust. But I don't think I can hold out much longer. I never knew how obsessed I was...how desperately I needed him until now. At least then I could watch him from afar but now...I can't bring my self to look at him...  
  
[The act of a noble warrior  
Who lost the will to fight]  
  
I want to just end it all...but I'm such a coward I can't even do THAT. It's pathetic really....I have nothing else to live for, why am I still here? My one true love has denied my love, and I'm done talking about my family so don't make me say it again. Life is truly horrible.  
  
~!!~!!~  
[And now you're trembling on a rocky ledge  
Staring down into a heartless sea]  
  
He's breaking, broken. It's terrible. I...I just can't believe I could do this to him. Son Goku: idiot, really, really strong guy who saves the world and dies every other year (yes I committed suicide once) really means so much to one person that he's willing to throw his life away. That's horrible yet oddly enough...beautiful. But he's crumbling...I can see it. And on the subject, so am I. For a man my height I should NOT be this thin. I swear my weight's somewhere between 90-100. Who knew such a heartless, uncaring man could care for someone else so much that he'd willingly waste himself away...uh, well gee, appears I'm doing it to. But is it really just worry? I can't tell these days.  
  
~!!~!!~  
[Done with life on a razor's edge  
Nothing's what you thought it would be]  
  
I am so tired...to think I used to be so head strong and brave...now I'm a pathetic weeping fool (yes I actually cry daily now) but I don't think all the tears in the world could ease away the pain in my heart. You can try so hard to get rid of "foolish emotions" but you only THINK you do. Killer's are emotionless but they still feel pain and joy. And when those sleeping emotions come back boy do they COME BACK. You can almost physically feel something bitch-smack you across the face. And I am so tired of hiding from the world. I tried not to show emotions but see how well that worked? I call it heart-break when I'm lying in bed 7 times an hour crying (LOUDLY) my eyes out just because long-time rival doesn't hate me but doesn't love me either. I call it anger when the one creature that practically ruined the best 7 or so years of my life is killed by a 3rd class warrior who couldn't surpass me if he tried (I'm still reeling in shock from when he went Super Saiya-jin before me)  
  
And I keep getting this sinking feeling that the end is near  
  
~!!~!!~  
[No hero in your tragedy]   
  
I swear something's wrong with me.....I've actually forced myself to eat and sleep but my body's not responding. Have I finally literally worried myself sick?! This isn't good and I've been bleeding a lot lately. That worries me as well.  
  
~!!~!!~  
[No daring in your escape]  
  
Suicide. Such a cowardly way to go out, but in all this emotional pain I've suffered I've allowed my body to wither away and now not only am I emotionally broken but I'm physically fucked up. That fool has done the impossible: he has completely broken I, Vegeta no Ouji. How he does these things without even trying Kami may never know. All I know is I'm desperately sick and my daughter's been coming home less and less. I have this ugly feeling that she's dead somewhere but frankly, I'm too wrapped up in my own emotional angst to care.  
  
[No salutes for your surrender]  
  
And now I am succumbing to darkness.....what a sad way to go out! Death from pining and the ugly thing is I'm dying alone. Now that's not so bad but I'm dying because of REJECTION. Damnit, how the hell did I let this happen....?  
  
[Nothing noble in your fate]  
  
I can't believe I'm dying......famine, heart attack, stroke, what the hell ever those are REASONS to die. I'm dying because in between thinking of slitting my wrists and going to I......got too obsessive and now I'm dying. Excellent, what a thing to put on my gravestone......I wonder if he would even care....  
  
[Christ, what have you done?]  
_______________________________________________________________  
Huzzah, and there you have it. I feel absolutely terrible.  
  
Cell: I hope someone gets the psychological meaning behind all this.  
  
More or less the story of my life...minus dying and suicide and the whole one-sided romantic thing then dying of angst. I hope this touches a chord somewhere cause I think it's pretty nice. Plus it's set to a song by one of the greatest rock groups EVER. So.....flame if you must and maybe they'll melt my cold, icy heart and I'll care. Or not.  
  
DD: Review if you haven't flooded the room with tears or walked away from the puter. 


End file.
